[64] hope[less]

I couldn't even imagine how difficult my moving to Moscow would be for me emotionally. I was happy that you are also moving for a while.  

But it was not enough. Totally not enough. Probably it was even worse... 

Being in one city and having to opportunity to meet is the worst thing in my life now. Just because actually we can but don't do. That hopelessness really makes me scared of the future: mine and ours. 

Oh I wish I knew what's on your mind. And heart.